March 19, 2012

Things Must Do This Week:

1. Laundry, as am running on backup wardrobe to secondary wardrobe, both of which are now too big on me, leading to issues such as boatneck shirt displaying BOTH shoulders and most of bra today at breakfast with people on whom I would have liked to make a less slutty impression.

2. Work on training primary and auxiliary dogs. Both now spoiled to such an unbearable point that they fully believe their days should consist of going outside, coming in, getting treat, going back out--oh, and will only GO out when treat is thrown into yard--coming in, treat, repeat. In between, they whine pathetically, stand on humans and chair arms[smaller, auxiliary dog is 50 lbs at least; primary dog is 75 lbs], nudge things off tables with their noses, and shred paper products.

3. Nag Olds to do various things they were supposed to do last week, such as buy actual food instead of mixers and beer at store. Oranges for making old fashioneds do not count.

4. Watch Rachel Maddow only ONCE per day. Two times acceptable only if have missed large part of first broadcast. No excuse for watching third broadcast at 4am, ever, UNLESS have gone to bed before 9pm and am up for day at 4am.

5. Also, limit general MSNBC viewing to only 6 hours a day. Thomas Roberts, Andrea Mitchell, Martin Brashear, Rev. Al, Ed, Rachel, Lawrence. Wait. Limit to 7 hours per day.

5. Finish dolls I meant to finish three weeks ago, in last blog entry.

6. Pay attention to Olds for at least 15 minutes a day. Have been gone a lot lately which leads to certain level of shirtiness and pouting.

7. Join YMCA, as have been meaning to do for past 2.5 years.

8. Finish reading at least 3 of 6 books am currently reading. Not counting four books am re-reading, which right now include 2 British children's books, a Barbara Pym, and The Shining

9. Stop referring to self as "asshole", at least out loud.

10. Try to go entire day without making fun of any biological family members online. Perhaps should specify "daylight hours" as 24 hours running seems excessive, esp. if actually in contact with any of them during said day

11. Limit self to one type of baked good per day. Example: May not consume cake AND cookies on same day, but may have three kinds of cake. Must start slow.

12. Refrain from singing parts of Jesus Christ Superstar in public that make me sound like a christian. Also try not to sing "Hosanna" and "Time Warp" from Rocky Horror at same time again.

13. Make lists of things to accomplish each DAY, as need to organize time. Also must write those lists on actual paper, which means

14. Find paper that is not knitting pattern or granola bar wrapper

15. Find writing instrument

16. Try to only mention Rachel Maddow once every two hours instead of every 15 minutes.

Already exhausted.

Hours of MSNBC watched already today: 3. Still enough left for Rachel,Ed,Lawrence, unless skip Lawrence for midnight Rachel
Olds attention paid: 35 minutes--DONE.
Loads of laundry: One--EXCELLENT
Dog training: Taught auxiliary dog to bark at bicyclists outdoors
Number of times have mentioned Rachel Maddow so far: Twice. Have been up over 2 hours, so, very good.